


Redecorating

by quill_and_ink



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Fluff, M/M, Warlock fuckery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:14:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25109065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quill_and_ink/pseuds/quill_and_ink
Summary: "Magnus Bane celebrates July 4th by magically replacing all confederate statues with statues of queer icons. Stonewall Jackson is now David Bowie #ShadowhuntersLegacy"-Todd Slavkin
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 20
Kudos: 88





	Redecorating

**Author's Note:**

> "Magnus Bane celebrates July 4th by magically replacing all confederate statues with statues of queer icons. Stonewall Jackson is now David Bowie #ShadowhuntersLegacy"  
> -[Todd Slavkin](https://twitter.com/toddzer1/status/1279519170887946240?s=20)
> 
> I mean... am I supposed to see a tweet like this and _not_ see it as a mandatory prompt? >.>
> 
> Unbetaed, written in a few hours after having my soul destroyed by "Hamilton", so any errors are Lin Manuel Miranda's fault because I didn't really bother to proofread this.
> 
> Happy (belated) Pride! Happy (belated) Fourth of July (for American readers)! Happy normal day in July to non-American readers! #BlackLivesMatter
> 
> I love you all endlessly. ❤️

"Call Simon and Lily and see if they know anything about this new den," Alec told Jace, rubbing his temples. "If they're not part of one of the New York clans, I want to know why they're here and what they're doing."

"Can't I just call Simon and hope he knows the answer? If I call Lily, she'll keep me on the phone for the next year and a half telling me how pretty she thinks I am," Jace protested as Alec's phone rang.

"She just likes to wind you up. And Clary eggs her on, you know that," Alec responded with a grin, lifting his phone to his ear. "Hello?"

"Alexander!"

Alec's heart skipped a beat as it did every time he heard his husband's voice. "Magnus, hey, listen, can I call you back in a bit? We're just in the middle of a thing with this new vampire den and -"

"Oh, certainly, darling, take your time. Just a quick question - do you own any shorts other than your workout clothes?"

A warning bell went off in Alec's head and he frowned down at his phone. "Uh... why are you asking about my wardrobe?"

"It was just a quick question, dear, I know you're busy."

"See, your 'quick questions' typically mean you're cooking up some kind of plot," Alec pointed out, waving off Jace's questioning look. "So what are you up to?"

"Really, Alexander, your lack of faith in me is astounding. I should be insulted!"

"Magnus..."

"Oh, _fine_. We're going on a road trip, darling. Now, do you or do you not own normal shorts?"

Alec's eyes widened. "We're _what_?!"

He heard the faint shuffling of hangers over the phone and pinched the bridge of his nose. "A road trip, Alexander. Just a small one, rather spur of the moment, but it's typically fairly warm down there this time of year -"

"Down _where_?"

" _Relax_ , my love! If you're not sure about the shorts, I'll just make a pair for you."

"Magnus -" The warlock was gone. Alec groaned and dropped his head down onto his desk.

"Another scheme?" Jace asked, grinning at him from the doorway.

"I have no idea what goes through his head sometimes." Alec sighed, glancing up at his _parabatai_. "Can you -"

"I'll talk to Simon and Lily if I absolutely need to. We'll cover here," Jace promised him, jerking his thumb over his shoulder. "Get out of here before Magnus starts painting Wall Street in rainbow colors."

"By the _Angel_ , please don't give him any ideas," Alec begged as he stood and sent Magnus a quick text that simply read _Portal?_ Jace simply chuckled and clapped him on the shoulder as Alec hurried past. By the time Alec had made his way through the Institute and out the front doors, a Portal sat waiting for him. He stepped through into their living room and straight into his husband's arms.

"Welcome home, darling," Magnus greeted him warmly, sliding his hands under Alec's suit jacket to loop around his waist.

"Hi, babe," Alec responded, smiling down at him in spite of the situation, his hand curling around Magnus's jaw and pulling him into a lingering kiss. And he kissed the warlock again, just for good measure. "Now what the hell are you plotting?"

Magnus pulled away from Alec with a groan. "Alexander, _why_ must you always think I'm plotting something?" he asked, dragging his hand across Alec's chest as he turned and walked back towards their bedroom.

"Uh... because you called me, asked if I owned shorts, and said we were taking a spur-of-the-moment road trip, and questions like that are typically a blaring neon sign that you're plotting something?" Alec reminded him as he followed. "What's going on?"

"We're just doing a bit of redecorating, that's all!" Magnus responded airily, waving his hand dismissively.

"Redecorating on a road trip?"

"Alexander, why do you sound so skeptical?" Magnus asked, picking up a pair of charcoal golf shorts from their bed and holding them out at arms-length.

"Because I _am_ skeptical?"

Magnus heaved a great sigh and thrust the shorts towards Alec. "Darling, don't you trust me?"

"Right now? Not really, no," Alec retorted even as he unbuckled his work trousers and shoved them off.

"Alexander, you stood up in front of our friends and families and made a vow!" Magnus said, shocked. Alec glared at him for a moment before snatching the shorts and pulling them on.

"That vow was to love and cherish you as long as we both live," Alec reminded him, fastening the zip on shorts, which fit him perfectly, of course. "It said nothing about 'I promise to blindly trust my devious warlock husband when he's clearly up to no good' and you damn well know that. Now, what's going on?"

"We're just going on a bit of a trip down south, that's all. A bit of a pit stop in a few locations, nothing lengthy."

"For what reason?" Alec pressed, hands on his hips. His husband looked him up and down for a moment, lips pursed, before he gave a quick snap and flare of his fingers to change Alec's black button-down into a lavender polo shirt. "Purple? Really?"

"It looks lovely on you, darling, don't worry," Magnus reassured him, patting his chest.

" _Magnus_. Why are we going down south?"

Magnus rolled his eyes and stepped close, wrapping his arms around Alec's waist. "We're just making a few adjustments," he murmured before he brushed his lips over Alec's, a distraction technique that he used frequently, one of which Alec was fully aware and yet it was still one to which he succumbed every single time. A quick burst of magic rushed over them as they kissed and Alec swayed into Magnus as he pulled back, glancing around in confusion.

"Where are we?" he asked, squinting against the mid-afternoon sunshine.

"Manassas, Virginia," Magnus responded, marching determinedly off across a broad field towards a life-size stone statue of a man on horseback.

"Babe, what the hell are we doing in Virginia?" Alec demanded, hurrying after the warlock.

"I already told you, Alexander, we're redecorating."

"Why did you force me into shorts, but you're still wearing pants?" Alec asked suddenly, frowning down at his husband's clothes, tailored almost to the point of public indecency.

"Because you'd look out of place down here in your formal Shadowhunter, Head of the Institute attire, whereas I look completely natural in my typical clothes," Magnus responded with a smirk as he twirled to face him. Alec had to admit his husband always looked entirely at ease wherever they went without changing a single stitch of clothing.

"But purple?"

"It's lavender, Alexander, and it brings out the color of your eyes," Magnus explained again over his shoulder as they approached the statue.

"Who is this, anyway?" Alec asked, glancing around.

"Thomas 'Stonewall' Jackson. A Confederate general during the Civil War," Magnus replied, thoughtfully tapping his forefinger on his chin as he circled the statue. Alec's eyes narrowed, watching the warlock suspiciously.

"And what exactly is it about this statue that we're redecorating?" he asked carefully. Magnus looked over at him and gave him a blindingly bright smile.

"The entire thing," he said with a grin before giving a dramatic swirl of his arms. Alec spat out a curse as he stumbled back a few steps, staring at the new statue in front of them.

"Magnus, what the hell did you do?!" he hissed, spinning in place as he looked frantically around for any hint of mundane presence.

"By the Angel, darling, we're _redecorating_ ," Magnus enunciated slowly. "It's far past time for these relics to be gone."

"I - we're - you - _what?!_ "

Magnus sighed and turned towards him, smoothing his hands down Alec's arms. "The southern states in the US have had these statues and monuments and buildings dedicated towards Confederate leaders for far too long. They're idolizing people who made it their lives' missions to continue slavery and to keep minorities oppressed, all under the guize of remembering history."

"Wait, that's just dumb," Alec interrupted, frowning. "Don't they teach this stuff in mundane schools?"

"Oh, they do," Magnus said, completely serious for once. "But many places in the south still feel as though they need to erect these monuments to 'remember', for whatever reason, refusing to admit that these people were all on the wrong side of history and shouldn't be memorialized in this way. It's possible to remember history without dedicating statues and monuments to the oppressors, and it's time someone did something about those monuments that still stand for oppression. I just thought it might be nice if those statues were replaced with statues of those who stood for another group of oppressed people."

Understanding finally began to dawn in Alec's mind as he looked up at the ten-foot statue. "You're replacing Confederate statues with statues of... David Bowie?"

Magnus winked at him and squeezed his hip. "Not just Bowie, darling."

Another wave of magic and they found themselves next to a towering statue monument on a busy street. Alec grabbed Magnus by the arms and spun them towards the back of the monument and away from curious eyes. "Magnus, what the fuck?!"

"Oh, relax, Alexander, I'm making sure no one can see us when we Portal in," the warlock scoffed, brushing off Alec's grip and striding around the front of the monument. Alec gritted his teeth. He loved his husband more than words could express, but sometimes he wanted to put him in time-out for just five minutes. He ran a hand through his hair and stomped after Magnus to find him craning his neck to look up at the statue.

A casually-dressed man carrying a bag of groceries walking down the street slowed as he approached them, glancing appraisingly at Magnus with a suggestive smile. A burst of irrational jealousy flared in Alec's chest and he quickly slid an arm around Magnus, his hand curling possessively low on Magnus's hip. The man gave him a wink and passed them.

"I don't like this place, let's get out of here," Alec muttered, glaring up at the statue as though he could project his irritation with the staring man onto the monument.

"Relax, darling, one random guy isn't going to ruin our marriage," Magnus teased, giving him a quick kiss.

"Still," Alec grumbled under his breath, glancing down the sidewalk to make sure the man was still walking away from them. "Who's this one?"

"This is General Robert E. Lee, commander of the Confederate Army," Magnus introduced, his eyes roving over the endless graffiti scrawled over the stone base of the monument. "A vile human who actively enslaved people and is frequently described as 'not so bad' in southern history books. Richmond currently refuses to remove the statue despite protests and graffiti and demands from the general public. I believe it will now be..." He quickly fluttered his fingers and a wash of blue sparks surrounded the statue. Magnus smiled happily when they cleared. "I always did love looking at Freddie Mercury."

"Do I have to be jealous of him, too?" Alec asked, squinting as he stared up at the Queen vocalist.

"Don't be ridiculous, Alexander, you know I only have eyes for you," Magnus replied, his eyes twinkling as his hand strayed past Alec's waistband. Alec blushed furiously and cleared his throat.

"So you're still replacing Confederate statues, but with... what, gay men?"

"Not necessarily. In fact, it's not exactly clear whether or not Bowie was actually part of the community since he backtracked on that a number of times and Freddie never made any public claims regarding his sexuality at all," Magnus said, leaning against Alec's side. "I just happen to think that statues of queer icons would be better representations of who people should look up to rather than people who actively oppressed and fought against those who weren't exactly like them."

Alec glanced down at his husband, this incredible man who had given him so much, who had the entire world to select a partner and still chose to be with him in spite of all his faults, and smiled, pressing a kiss into his hair.

"Where to next?"

Magnus grinned up at him and they stepped through a Portal onto a circular stone clearing in a park. "Charleston, South Carolina," he said, stepping towards a statue set onto a pillar in the middle of the clearing and rubbing his hands together. Alec followed, his brow furrowing in confusion.

"Is that... why is the statue naked?" he asked, staring up at the nude man defending a robed figure.

"Artistic license, or something along those lines, I'm sure," Magnus muttered, tilting his head to stare at the statue's penis. "Clearly, southern propriety won over artistic license when it came to size."

"Would they have included it at all if propriety was an issue?" Alec pointed out as they both stepped closer for a better look.

"An attempt at compromise, possibly. I'm sure some group of southern leaders wanted a dick visible at some point to show how masculine they are, but I'm not really getting a sense of virility from this one," Magnus commented wryly.

"So what are you switching this one into, a ten-foot cock?"

"Oh, don't be crude, darling. Queer icons, remember?"

"I mean, I can think of one dick that's pretty iconic to me," Alec murmured, his voice low as he pressed himself against Magnus's back.

Magnus twisted in his arms to stare wide-eyed up at him. " _Alexander!_ " he exclaimed, actually managing to sound somewhat scandalized.

Alec grinned at him and stole another kiss. "I have a feeling you have a long list of statues to replace. Hurry up and do your thing."

"Why, so we can get home and do _our_ thing?" Magnus asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Exactly." Alec's hands curled around Magnus's hips and spun him around to face the statue.

"Well. In that case." Magnus leaned back against him and clapped his hands together. "Any suggestions?"

"Uh... Cher."

"Cher?" Magnus repeated, amusement coloring his voice.

"Yeah, with the spiky black headpiece thing."

Magnus coughed, barely covering his laugh. "Cher at the 1986 Oscars coming right up."

Over the next several hours, Alec and Magnus Portalled around to more cities than Alec could count, Alec keeping a watchful eye out as Magnus transformed dozens of statues to Lee, Jackson, Elisha Paxton, Jefferson Davis, James Longstreet, and others. Alec felt like his heart was growing bigger and bigger as he watched the monuments to these hateful men magically turn into statues of Harvey Milk, Judy Garland and Liza Minelli, Prince, Elton John, Tennessee Williams, Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson, Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, and so, so many more. By the time Magnus finally Portalled them back to Brooklyn, the only thing Alec could think to do was to pull Magnus into his arms and kiss him until they were both breathless.

"I love you so fucking much," he whispered hoarsely when they finally broke apart. Magnus smiled up at him, his eyes warm as he carded his fingers through Alec's hair, pressing their foreheads together.

"I love you endlessly, my darling," Magnus murmured, brushing a soft kiss over Alec's lips. "But we still have fireworks to watch, don't forget."

"That's an interesting way to describe the mundanes flipping out over what you did to those statues," Alec joked as Magnus laced their fingers together and tugged him out onto the balcony. Magnus stuck his tongue out, chuckling when Alec gave him a hard kiss, and spun to face the city, pulling Alec flush against his back and sighing happily when Alec automatically wound his arms around Magnus's middle.

"You're not wrong, but I meant the actual _fireworks_ ," Magnus repeated, gesturing towards the bursts of lights flashing in the night sky. Alec's eyes widened and he pressed his cheek against Magnus's hair.

"What -"

"It's July fourth, Alexander," Magnus supplied, his fingers drifting over Alec's arms. "The Americans love to set things on fire today."

Alec burst out laughing. "You sneaky thing. I can't believe we just spent the last seven hours transforming fucking Confederate statues on the mundanes' Independence Day."

"Technically, it was still an Independence Day celebration," the warlock pointed out, settling against Alec's chest. They watched the fireworks display, showers of color exploding illuminating the city, and Alec thought back over their day. He should be horrified at what they'd done and he knew there would be hell to pay tomorrow at the uproar that would inevitably erupt with the mundanes' responses to the new statues, but... he just couldn't find it in himself to want to change things back.

He pulled away just enough to lift one hand and tilt Magnus's face towards him. "In the air of celebration, Happy Independence Day, babe," Alec murmured, curling his hand around his husband's jaw and pulling him into a kiss that he hoped never ended.


End file.
